Every morning I have the same routine, get up, get dressed brush my teeth and go to school. On Monday and Tuesday however a lady from our neighborhood drives me and my brother to school along with her son. We never enjoy the trip on these days because all she does is talk. Whether it is the big news of the train incident, or who is going to be late after school because of a tryout, she never stops talking. I just have to block her out and get back to studying the chosen before the big test on Wednesday.
Then I stroll on up to the door and make my way down to the breeze-way. Sitting there I see all sorts of things going on, from kids doing homework, to others finishing up their breakfast. At seven-fifty-seven all the students’ line up at the double doors leading into Walsh, waiting for the nearest teacher to leave so they can all rush to their lockers. As I fight the crowd and make my way towards locker number eighty-five I stop to take a quick look at the eagles then start my day in home room 103.
Good job Mike! I think you should be nicer to the lady who drives you every morning.
ReplyDeleteMike this is a great story. I liked that you talked about your morning drive with this lady. I think that you can give a little bit more information about your trip, and arriving to school.
ReplyDeleteI think that this is not a bad story but I think that the first part is completely unnecessary and also confusing. If you take out the first part and add a little to the end of the story then the story will flow and be much better. Also it would have much better in my opinion if you added more description to the story so you can give it more body. Over all ok story.
ReplyDeleteDarvin, I thought it was great and you are a little bit out of line. This is to leave nice comments with maybe a suggestion, but calm down with the gorilla warfare there. you need to relax....."completely unnecessary" c'mon Darvin, smarten up.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I liked it a lot
I think you could do some more with this story. Talk a little more about the breezeway. What is everyone else in the car doing. I'd also like to meet this mother cuz I like to talk to adults.
ReplyDeleteyou should be more descriptive about what the kids in the breezeway look like and use details about your senses like what you feel when you walk in
ReplyDelete